LIFE SUCKS

Sexaul Abuse on a 13 year old who is now 14

One night My family had a guy over that was kinda our friend. We only been friends with him for three days the last day he did something bad to me. It was not the first time it had happened it was the 50th time. All these years i've been depressed and I didn't like my life so the night started and he came over again uninvited and he asked us if he could sleep over. He had a home to live in but he refused to go so my mom let him stay and I had to sleep beside him. And he was 28 years old and I kinda had a crush on him. But that night I didn't like him that way so I felt his hand go up my shirt. I looked at him pretty scared and he looked up at me like he wassaying be quiet so I did. The second time he tried to reach up my shirt I grabbed his arms and restrained him but I knew I couldn't hold his arms away from me that long. So I kept fighting with him. Then thats when he finally well he hit me and then he started unbottuning my pants and he went up my shirt. And then he started touching me all over. Well I tried to wake my mom up who was right beside me . I did but she said go back to bed. I was too scared to so It had passed one hour already. And I was still struggling with him but I couldn't fight anymore so I lay there hopeless wimpering my mom finally woke up that's when he finally stopped and my mom saw me on the floor on the other side of the room crying quietly. My older sister asked him what he did to me he said he did nothing but i told my mom but i couldn't really talk because I was having breathing problems. And I kept telling my mom what had happened. He came over to near where I was and bent over. I held on to my mom so tight. Because i was still scared of the guy. But he just walked past me sinc then i've been all quiet and shy around guys. I don't hardly talk to them. Then one day I told my guidance consellor and he was shocked so he set me up with a bunch of people but I don't talk about it that much. Even my friends think I'm really quiet. Ever since that day I been scared of guys so when i seen guys i ran back towards my house. My whole life changed that day well it was changed all these years I never been happy I used to be until now you would see me with my head down like i'm crying. I even cry at school in front of people who want me to talk about it. One teacher of mine was talking to me she knew something was bothering me so she asked me if I wanted to talk with her privately so I went with her. I had cuts on my arm she recognized that I was holding my arm tightly so she asked what was wrong but I did not show her the cuts. I still cut myself right now i cut myself just talking about this.