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Posted by shadow at November 23, 2010
Tags: Attitude  2010 November

I am 25 female, single, working in a dead end job with druggie friends. I struggle very secretively with a horrendous self image/ confidence problem. I smoke, drink and do drugs becuase I dont really care about myself, not enough to worry about what it will do to me later on in life. I hate how my older brother who is rich and sucessful calls and tells me about all the cool things he is doing when I do nothing, go nowhere and want to crawl into a ball and die everytime he asks me how I am. My voice usually cracks or I cough and say great I need nothing can't wait to meet you and your super spoiled/ gold diging gf. Ughh I wish I could just change or disspear or take a break from my day to day life. I am pretty and funny but I feel stuck and confused and unworthey and I hope that I can find a way to dissapear so that maybe I can come back from all of this


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Comments:
By B at 08,Dec,10 11:28

I feel eerily similar...


By anonymous at 08,Dec,10 19:29

This was me a year ago. Since I quit the drugs, I've felt much better. Change your life, stop hanging out with losers, find something you're passionate about and pursue it. These things will point you in the right direction. However, they won't happen unless you try hard. You will probably fail along the way many times, never give up.


By anonymous at 08,Dec,10 20:06

i feel exactly the same


By anonymous at 08,Dec,10 20:08

i wish i had frienda to hang out with, im tired if sitting in this room with nothing but a cigrette in my hand... im soooo lonely i hate it, i just want a real friend


By anonymous at 09,Dec,10 04:49

that's almost exactly me, only I'm male.

I think that basically it's that Im apathetic to try to change. I'm afraid it will just cause more pain.


By anonymous at 11,Dec,10 17:32

If you want to know who you are, look at your friends. If you hang out with loser and druggies, then you get what you deserve.

Look at you brothers life. I would bet he has worked his ass off to get where he is and I'll bet he hangs out with other people that have done the same thing.

You live in a place where you can do anything and accomplish anything but you choose to sit around and cry about how bad you have it. You need to grow up and take responsibility for your life and decisions. If you were to snap out of it today and start to make better choices you would be amazed at where you would be in a year or two.

Make the choice; or not. Nobody is going to save you except for yourself. At least you are in a place where you have options.


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