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my story

Posted by some stupid fag at November 20, 2010
Tags: Attitude  Loneliness  2010 November

i dont even know why im on this site. i dont even know why im alive. i dont fucking care. i am socially akward.i neva actually had alot of frends. other kids treated me like shit in jnr school, hell i didnt know , how cud i, i dont see the world as you do. in time i developed a bad stutter and i was further teased, all the world meant to me was video games and this one girl, i loved her. i was shut down quite hrshly lol.i just dont get it. i was further eased and humiliated to snr schoo. do you know wat it was like to be pushed away. to neva have someone to talk to. i sat in the classroom every break. sometimes i cried in class but i just said it was my contacts. i dont 'hang out' on the weekend getting drunk with millions of frends that always are there for u. i was repeatdly called 'gay' 'fag' 'that fucking retard' etc etc i spend most of my time listening to linkin park and other bands.( i live in africa so listening to rock is considered gay).i cry myself to sleep with the uilt f all those times i fucked up i was always the loner and i never wanted anyone to go near me.i have attemmpted sucicde once and i failed (dont ask)so i'll just have to cut myself for now ( ps slitting doesent give u as much a rush as stabbing with pins) . all i ve eva wanted was a girlfrend, someone to talk to, to hold and for someone to tell me that its ok. but no just plagued to live the rest of my life as some loveless fucking idoit with no life. i fucking hate mself. have you ever felt a void, a hole no matter how hard u try u neva qutie feel happy. i always had a dream to become a famous aactor donate money to charity, marry a beuatilful wife and have lots of kids and show all of those motherfuckers. but we all hav to face the reallty that is a fucking dream u cant wake up from. i am an athiest by choice and if ur not no matter wat u do dont stop loving ur god because i evny u, for all u church fuckers who are all in a flase sense of fucking security but i cant knowing its all a fucking lie. my life may not seem as bad as some other people but o well thats my story wats urs.

its all lies
wake from the delusional dream
that is life
when i throw my life away
it will be over
when death wraps its warm loving embrace
that u could sleep in for a thousand years
but not knowing
not knowing
wat lies ont the other side
but knowing
knowing
its all lies

a poem i made :)


Votes:


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New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 06,Dec,10 17:39

That's so sad, i feel lonely too :(
By at 07,Dec,10 17:08

thnks
By anonymous at 07,Dec,10 17:17 Fold Up

why wud u feel lonly wats up with you???


By anonymous at 06,Dec,10 19:07

I know about that same fucking hole that can't be filled & i know about trying 2 make it big 2 tell all the people that fuck us over now-FUCK YOU- life sucks!!!!

But linkin park is awesome!
By anonymous at 07,Dec,10 17:09

i agree 100%


By anonymous at 07,Dec,10 04:13

kinda remind me of my younger brother. dont give up i found someone when i stopped looking. i cut too wrist upper arm and 'hate' carved in forearm the last one hasnt faded much and that was nearly 10 yrs ago i'm 25. i am a tattoo artist and cant wait til day i get good enough or meet someone good enought to tattoo over it. you in sad time now but maybe not for rest of ur life but the scarrs will remind you. stop now, start putting scar stuff on it. you dont deserve that. but sadly i understand. highschool is shit dont let those a hole dicks f ers decide how you see urself. i had couple friends but then they usually moved the best one because she became orphan, 8 years before i saw her again, after that the others were just so shitty and ditched me cause i depressed but i havent givin up for now my brothers and my husband are my friends. i still working on being depressed loner and feeling like a loser and slowly it getting better
By at 07,Dec,10 17:11

shit dude that must suck and im happy its getting better for u strangly its getting better for me aswell like the stupid pverty in this fucking hell hole


By at 07,Dec,10 12:59

my life is so similar socially awkward everything turns shit in your life but it would be ok if there wer someone to hold your hand instead everyone just laughs at you. you then dream fantasies wer you are more superior and the assholes are begging at your feet fuck that we gonna be alone and working at McDonalds.
By at 07,Dec,10 17:16

wow almost like u took the fucking words out of my mouth


By anonymous at 07,Dec,10 14:01

i feel you - it was like reading my own live story.

Other country - same shit.

Greetings from Germany
By at 07,Dec,10 17:13

ive been to germany once it was awsome ps never go tozimbabwe its a shitty place


By peterbee.myopenid.com at 07,Dec,10 22:05

Hi bud,

I know whats it like being abused and tormented at school. When I was young, I literally hated my life and felt like no one loved me. I tried to kill myself on several occasions by hanging myself or stabbing myself. I'm glad I never succeeded because now I live a half a world away from that horrible place with many friends and surrounded by people also. I was an atheist before my new life, now I am a christian. If you are trying to fill a void in your soul, and you can see people who love God and Christ being happy, maybe there is something to it. I gave it a chance and it changed my life. All those people who go to church and love God, they are not happy because they lie to themselves, but because that hole in their soul is filled with love, love from God and from other people. You need lots of love brother, I'll be praying for you.
By some stupid fag at 08,Dec,10 13:11

thannks dude i wish it was true ur awsome


By at 10,Dec,10 00:52

dude, that sucks. i'm not a loner, but i know people like that. whatever you do, don't try to kill yourself. it's not the answer. you might think that you will escape if u do, or that you will be remembered by others. but you have so much left to live for. just ignore the fags who torment you, if you don't care what they say, you can tune them out and it will seem like they dont exist. just focus in school and get good grades, use your free time for a hobby, like writing your poems. (ps i liked it).


By at 10,Dec,10 00:56

then get into a good school, get your degree, and get a good job. then you can show all those mother fuckers who's better now. if you need someone to talk to, just reply. i'm here dude.
By some stupid fag at 10,Dec,10 18:40

thnks dude ur relly great i wish there were more people in the world like you
By at 11,Dec,10 00:43

no problem, i was like that in middle school, but then i stopped caring what people thought. i made my own friends with people like me ( trust me there's others in your school) and now i have great friends, good grades, a carefree attitude, and a girlfriend.


By anonymous at 14,Dec,10 12:27



By anonymous at 20,Aug,11 00:08

"i live in africa so listening to rock is considered gay"

FUCK AFRICA


By link building team at 15,Oct,13 16:23

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By crorkz matz at 05,Aug,14 13:34

45n0YB I cannot thank you enough for the article post.Thanks Again. Fantastic.


New Comment