Well, let's see-my life sucks so many directions it's hard to pick one...I have a job where I am not appreciated, where I work so hard physically that I am exhausted by the time I leave and I have to hear how I don't do enough and need to do more constantly, while I have a teammate who skips through life doing as little as possible and therefore leaving me to take up the slack. Management refuses to make her and she is apparently immune to getting in trouble even when they know she is a slacker. In my yearly raise I got meets which is a raise but not enough to help my financial woes, which makes me furious because I bet she got the same raise doing literally half the work. I don't make enough money to keep up with the bills as is and I have the added expenses of medical care constantly...my husband has a chronic illness (although I do too) which I am paying medical bills for to the extent I can't afford to go to the doctor for my diabetes and high blood pressure. It is always another bill, another demand I can't meet and another time I am going to feel less than good enough. my husband doesn't work, is disabled. He goes to meetings 3-4 times a week and sleeps the other days I am in so there is little contact. He doesn't help around the house unless I say something. My teenage daughter won't either...so I am stuck cleaning up alone. Everything is my job and I have no relief or anyone who seems to give a crap about me. My marriage is basically nonexistent because we have sex maybe once a month and we dont spend time together yet it makes it where I can't honoribly go find a life...I love him though I am beginning to feel like he really must not love me because I've tried talking about it and nothing has changed in the last 4 years...I am thinking about giving him an ultimatum of 1 year and then just walking out if he keeps on the way he is. Its my birthday he spent it in bed and my birthday present I picked out and bought myself because he couldn't manage to pay for it online alone-probably just didn't care enough. I am sad and tired and alone and thinking if this doesn't change I am hoping I die soon because I don't want to continue in this misery...I have no plans to make that happen but right now if it did I have told my husband DNR...not that he gives a crap. | |
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