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I never outstand in anything and I feel ignored

Posted by latinprincess at November 4, 2010
Tags: Attitude  2010 November  Relationship

My life sucks. Iīm a 25 year old woman and Iīve never been happy in a relationship. The men I like never like me and the men I donīt like do like me. Hence, Iīve never been with a man I really loved, except for one only time. When I was with him, he didnīt want to tell our friends at the University about us, I really donīt know exactly why but itīs obvious that it was probably because he was ashamed of me. He cheated on me and I left him. Itīs been more than 3 years now, and I havenīt had a bf since then. Iīm not very attractive. Iīm not was ugly as other girls, or at least thatīs what I think, but for men, it seems Iīm ugly for them since I don`t get asked out a lot and guys rarely flirt with me. Iīm tall and skinny, but my boobs are too small, which i deeply hate. I also hate my face, which has strong and kind of manly features and my voice is too deep for a woman, really really ugly voice! I wish I would look more feminine, maybe that way men would me more attracted to me.
Iīve been really unlucky finding jobs too. I live in a latin american country, and the economic situation sucks. There are very few jobs that are worth something and only a few people that can "pull some strings" are the ones that get the good jobs. I used to be a high school teacher but iīm such a loser that even my students made fun of me and were very rude. I did many things to stop this bs but it not always worked. I got payed VERY few money for that job that I hated so much. Now Iīm studying a masters course and have a scholarship. This is kind of good, but Iīve been waiting for my money for months now and I still havenīt received 1 cent. I still live with my parents. I love them, but were not very compatibles. They do have money, but I donīt. If it wasnīt for them, I would be living in the streets because Iīve got nothing of my own. I do have a car I can use, might sound fine, but as I said, I have nothing that i really own. Iīm tired of being just "papaīs little girl". All I wish is to have my own place, a man that I can love and love me back, feel confortable with myself and suceed in something.
Iīm not very smart, at least I donīt feel smart. It annoys me how some of my classmates are younger, prettier and smarter than me. I feel like a loser. Teachers treat me as an idiot. Even my parents treat me as an idiot. My dad for example, tells me I make mistakes more than a normal person. He might be right, because Iīm so stupid that i make mistakes all of the time and people are always correcting me. But what really hurts me is that he doesnīt care about hurting me. He claims he does it to "help me" but he doesnīt. If I tell him how sad he makes me feel he justs laughes at my face. My mom is similar with me too. Thatīs why I also wish to have enough money to get my own place.
Most of my friends are pretty, smart, have bf or at least date. Whenever they talk about their men I just stay quiet because I have no man to talk about. They just tell me to be patient and wait, but come on! Theyīre younger than me, they donīt know what it is like to be 25 and be totally ignored by men, many times even insulted and told that Iīm ugly.
I go to therapy, but itīs expensive, my dad pays but I donīt like going anymore, it seems It doesnīt work at all. I drink pills to feel better (antidepressives) and pills to sleep, but only the second ones work. I feel so sad and hate myself and the world so much that the stress caused me to have intestinal problems and many times I canīt stand the pain =(. Sometimes I feel upset with God because he made me so ugly, dumb, unlucky and lonely. I donīt believe in religion, for me thatīs all BS, just groups made by humans to manipulate other humans. I feel so hopeless about everything, this world sucks! Thereīs so much hate, people become more and more superficial as days go by and money and appearances seem to be basic to be acceptable. Sorry If my English sucks as much as my life, but English is not my native language. Thank you for your time.


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Comments:
By B-Don at 12,Nov,10 22:18

Another sad story. At least Im not the only one suffering out in this cruel world. I really don't know what the tell you because it seems God has forsaken a lot of people. Keep your faith in God becuz he loves you even though he doesn't show it or prove it.


By anonymous at 12,Nov,10 23:37

I was really sad reading what you wrote here. I can relate to you very much. I'm sorry..


By anonymous at 16,Nov,10 05:21

You sound like a "well put together" person,

Your english is excellent!

You are well educated and pursuing a masters degree, those by themselves are great accomplishments. Even if you and your parents aren't compatible, they're still behind you. Supporting and loving you!

I'm sure there is an opportunity lurking in the back ground, you'll soon see. A young woman at your educational level is an asset for any institution or company.

YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE!!!

You're not stuck in a dead end job, you're parents are still alive, you have an active social life, a car, a roof over your head.....YOU ARE LUCKY!

Loneliness is tough....but you are moving forward at least!

I'm always going to be alone, I came to grips with it, but it does suck....

I'm 34, alone, working nights doing minimum wage, no kids. I also required the help of my father in financial matters, it's humiliating but at least there was help when it was needed. See, I'm more pathetic than you feel you are. You are in good shape, really!

HANG IN THERE.....Ladies out there always find someway to "hook up". For guys....It's permanent loneliness and despair. There's nothing else but work from now on for me!

Prayer was the only way I found to get closure or simply just staying sane. Religion is not for everyone, but it can provide some kind of solace. Maybe it would help you have a better perception of who you are, how much beauty you have to offer the rest of the world:)

Good people are still around....They're just much harder to find than before....I guess....

Take good care of yourself:)


By anonymous at 18,Nov,10 15:38

Do you think you might be over exaggerating just a bit? For me to say that, you must be...lol. I'm the #1 Drama queen and always finding some fault with my life.lol. But I definitely can relate to you. Though I don't feel unattractive, I can relate to the fact that it seems like there's nobody out there for me that'll love me as much as I would love them. I love your thoughts though. Especially your views on how materialistic this world is becoming and thoughts on church. I thought I was the only one that felt like that. Anyways, if you want to keep up with my shenanigans/ups and downs of dating in Atlanta you can always reach me here: www.twitter.com/singleinatlanta

I'm here for you if you ever want to talk. Trust me I understand. You have no idea how hard it is fending for yourself all the time with no close friends or family. =)


By anonymous at 21,Nov,10 05:21

Boobs to small ? Ya know some guys like small boobs


By cheap link building at 24,Sep,13 10:23

aNbo6O Really informative post.Really thank you! Really Cool.


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