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could it really get worse?

Posted by anonymous at October 30, 2010
Tags: Attitude  Family  Job  Money  2010 October

Both my parents died when I was really young, as well as both sets of grand parents. I've also lost 3 brothers and recently, a sister. I avoid ever getting close to anyone, I always fear they'll die, if I stay away from people, it won't hurt when they do die. I was also sexually abused a lot as a child, with no parents to protect me, I was easy prey, which of course means I have issues with intimacy.

I'm not even 30. I'm stuck in a dead end job where my boss (who's rich and flaunts it) treats me like a second class citizen. I'm getting deeper and deeper into debt because I get paid so little. I have severe insomnia and I am slowly going insane from it, I feel my mind bend a little more every day. Not to mention my debilitating IBS and sciatica.

Did I forget to mention that I'm plagued by murphy's law. If I'm running late, I'll catch every single red light. If I need something, you better believe I'll have to look for it for an hour because it's not where I KNOW I put it. Praying stopped working a long time ago, don't bother asking him for anything, even to guide you, you won't be answered (there probably isn't a God anyway, who would allow the world to get this bad?)

So basically, if I don't have excruciating pain, have had 4-6 hours of sleep and get to work on time, I've had a great day.

I can't believe I haven't slit my wrists yet, I really believe the only thing stopping me is the fear of God.


Votes:


Similar Entries:
WHY? April 27, 2010
Hate's self August 1, 2010
Seriously? March 27, 2012
Life sucks, and seems to be getting worse  March 18, 2012
does it get better? January 24, 2012



New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 05,Nov,10 10:14

At-least you still fear God! And what good will slitting your wrists do? other than possibly getting more in debt if you end up with infected wounds! If you stop long enough to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start thinking more in terms of how you can better your life, then you would have better days. thinking negatively will get you nowhere, and what have you to lose just by deciding to be happy! It all starts in your mind! Change the way you think, then your life will not suck as much!


By B-Don at 05,Nov,10 13:50

Yeah well that sucks. Don't you dare think about harming yourself. You keep your faith in God and don't doubt him ever! The devil is trying is hardest to steal your joy and flaunt all his wealth in your face. Well tell that devil God has a plan for me and I rebuke you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ!!!!!! You will go far if you put your trust in the Lord. My life sucks but we all must along!!!!! AMEN!!!!!!!! :)


By Missy at 05,Nov,10 19:46

I have freind that work with me and her and her sister went out and the way we got cuaght in thunder storm and we had an accident and her sister was killed. She wanted to end her life. Me and another stopped from climbing fence and getting out to the ineterstate to get ran over she also tried cuttingherwrist i stoped that and got her some help she is recovered fromher ordeal but she feels responsible for her sisterdeath. I was injured in that accident but told her that I do not hold resosible for the accident. I told if sister was alive she would not have held responsible for the accident.


By anonymous at 08,Nov,10 23:19

GOD HELPS AND IF ALL THIS SHIT AND VIOLENCE IS HAPPENING IS BECAUSE OF SATAN THE DEVIL YOU SHOULD READ YOUR BIBLE AND THANK GOD YOURE ALIVE IF IT WERENT FOR HIM YOU WOULD BE DEAD REMEMBER HE DIED FOR US ... OTHER PEOPLE HAVE HAD IT WORST AND THEYRE NOT COMPLAINING THEY STILL BELIEVE IN GOD HES HERE WITH US BUT HE CANT DO NOTHING TO HELP US HE CAN HELP US BUT WE OURSELVES ARE KILLING EACH OTHER WITH VIOLENCE AND HATE DID GOD CREATE THIS HELL NO


By gregwiater at 18,Nov,10 07:50

Life sucks in this world... but all of this is our fault. We have allowed it. Of course it seems as if it would be easier to kill myself and escape this never ending suffering in this reality.
But how about if we change it so it doesn´t suck anymore???? If everybody who killed himself and who wants to kill himself/herself did something to change this world instead – it would be much much better already. Let´s unite and do something instead of committing suicide.
search on google for: EQUAL MONEY ORGANIZATION and DESTENI GROUP... and you will find help and practical solutions… you will also find me there on the forum under Greg and GregWiater


By anonymous at 18,Jul,11 20:38

To all those who said this isn't THAT bad, try being a fucking orphan at 9 with a sexually abusive cousin, a step mom who beats you, in and out of the system til 18. Not to mention that one of my brothers "accidentally" shot himself in the head, another died in a fire and the third of pancreatic cancer. My sister died last august 8 1/2 months pregnant and took the kid with her. Oh and NOW, i no longer have that dead end job, I was fired from it and can't find another one, i can't collect unemplyment because i was fired and can't get welfare because I'm "able" to work. The doctors wont give me note to get diability, I mean, it's not that bad that I can't be away from a toilet for more than 15 minutes before I panic and almost soil myself (ibs/anxiety disorder), or that I have psychotic raging tantrums when I can't find stuf. So bad so that last week i ended up in the hospital after taking a bottle of pills because i lost my bag of pot, I was escorted out by police to be strapped into an ambulance and the WHOLE neighbouhood saw me being towed away to the looney bin. Not that bad? FUCK YOU!!! try living with this...ASSHOLES!!!!


By Brandie at 26,Nov,11 08:50

Stay inoframtive, San Diego, yeah boy!


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