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untitled story

Posted by anonymous at October 22, 2010
Tags:  2010 October

I'm not comparing myself to anyone else. I just feel an overwhelming need to vent. I have been trying to see the bright side for a while now, but the past few weeks has kicked me down so that i can barely see the beauty around me.

Let me start with the beauty, though. I am not currently homeless, it is absolutely beautiful this time of year and I have some great cats, a silly son and I'm not completely dim-witted.

I just dropped out of nursing school. I really felt like this was one of my few chances to make a good life for my son and myself, but the instructor had it out for me since the first week. She was gonna fail me in clinicals and then to pass the semester would have been so much extra work... and I was barely spending any time with my son since classes began, so then I would also have to ignore him when we were together to try and cowtow to this instructor that just didn't like anything I did.

So, that for sure has me down, because I make high standards for myself and I just envision such a terrible life for my little guy if I can't elevate our lot in life.

The second part is that I have been fighting the local child developmental services for a year now to get my son proper special help. They finally gave him speech therapy, but the therapist was so unbelievably horrible that I requested someone new, but everyone else in the area is unavailable and I either have to go back to the terrible therapist or.. I dunno... move to an area where my son can get help. And he has gone from "moderate speech delay" to "severe speech delay" and my heart is just breaking to watch his potential to learn language slip away as he gets older. And this is not to mention that he is on the cusp of their standards for needing Occupational therapy and so doesn't qualify for that.

And the last straw(s) that made me visit this website are that my car is probably on it's last legs AND I got a ticket for parking when the meter only expired by 5 minutes while I got my son a pumpkin.

And of course, I have no friends or family to help me so I'm pretty desperate to let it out somehow.


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Comments:
By Peach at 27,Oct,10 13:32

Just hang in there!
I really think you should try to get your son help SOMEHOW.
Just keep looking, maybe you'll find something.
About dropping out- i don't think it's bad to make high goals. I think everything is worth trying as long as you know what do you want. Keep trying!
About the car-totally sucks. Life is not fair.
(not sure If I'm helping any at all=()
By anonymous at 28,Oct,10 14:58

Thanks. I WILL keep trying. I am starting to consider moving. My son does need help, I'm sure he has PDD-NOS and if they won't help him here maybe they'll help him in another state.

Thanks a lot for commenting. Best of luck to you in your life :)


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