LIFE SUCKS

Dead inside

Ever since my mom died life has not quite got better. I fuck up every relationship with any girl I get. Just this year alone I have lost two girls that really mattered to me. They left becouse bottomline I feel like shit. Nervous all the time. "She dont like me" or "This wont last so break i up! Do it now!" The last girl really ment something. With her life felt so good. But my fears took over. I hate myself and curse the way i acted back when it all got fucked up. The passion dies when nervousness and shit blends in to the picture. I knew that and still couldnt do shit about it. Maybe it wouldnt last anyway but atleast it would be a little longer. I feel so alone. Cry every single night about it. I begin to lose hope. Broken inside and messed up. I miss her and still want to let her go. It tears me apart.