My life is so great.... I have everything anyone really needs. Since I hit my stride at age 14 I have always been told I was beautiful, smart, and confident. It seemed like I could do no wrong everything I tried I was automatically good at and I was told by numerous people the jealously they feel towards me daily. I am told I could have everything and anything I wanted. My problem you frustratingly wonder is.... Me.
My own worst enemy is me. I am always sad, I fake being happy so much it has become an exhausting act. I push people away yearly. I always start a new year with intentions of making it my best. I gather friends, I get good marks, and I join clubs. Then slowly the new year turns boring and old. I stop trying at school, I stopping going to clubs, and I turn my friends away by criticizing everything they feel horrible about, I would go for the jugular even my Best Friend of the year wouldn't be safe. Then I would stay home alone and feel sorry for myself and sad about the outcome, when I really brought it on myself. Then I would start over again each year with the same results.
Why do I destroy my life?? Why can't I be happy?? Why am I such a whiney shit that can't have a actual problem yet I continually create one??
I'm just tired of sadness and being unhappy. I wish it would end. | |
New Comment