Makes life worth living? Abandoned as a child by both parents. Mom was crack addict. Dad was a self declared womanizer. But the bible (which I try to make my "guide" SAYS TO HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER...I have severe emotional issues because I hate my life. I hate being "black", a college dropout, and all the igorant shit I put up with everyday. I can't see my son, his mother doesn't acknowledge my parental rights unless I fucking pay her...she's the one who persuaded me about dropping out (dumb ass move). I have put in 60 applications for every job I've ever had. I've been poor and living in homeless shelters in Memphis, Nashville, and Atlanta. I moved to Atlanta and the fucking gay lifestyle reminds me of my child abuse (sexually)situation. I have way too many problems lately just staying focused.....my uncle who I was living with kicked me out at 18 for taking money out of my own mothefucking bank account....the chick I lost my virginity too claimed I raped her...and my mother died two years ago leaving me brokenhearted and no inheritance. I hate this life. Fuck it. Memories and all. |
Try not to beat yourself up over dropping out of school, either. I have a bachelors and could only find a part time minimum wage job. No one else I graduated with has a job and it has been almost three years. School has become a way of generating needless debt for our generation of would-have-beens.
Also, try to think about the worse case consequences when making heavy decisions like school or sex (the act may seem casual but disease and children are pretty serious).
Sexual abuse is unforgivable, but, please don't blame an entire group of people for what happened to you. This is how groups like the NAZI party are started and perpetuated.
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