LIFE SUCKS

confused...!!!???

this may sound crazy to every person who decides to read it but the reason i feel like my life sucks the big one is because of hope. my family is about to lose the house i have a two year old nephew my younger brother my older sister and my parents all living here and now yet again my 28 year old brother is living here as well. most of my life i have been viewed as the fuck up of the family from being suspended from school a ridiculous amount of times to supplying my older sister with the means to burn down our previous house I have always ,ALWAYS been the fuck up. but recently i have become the last hope not only for my family but for all of my friends to fix this world and yes i mean this world. my father has been retired since just before or after obama was elected into office and has since earned 45 dollars for fixing a friends brakes. he is currently driving my mother deeper and deeper into depression and i feel as though there really is nothing i can do. yet a couple weeks ago i spoke to my mother and a close friend who both firmly objected when i reffered to myself as a fuck up informing me that they believe that i am not only the last hope for my friends and family but possibly this country and this world and i can not believe that i cannot handle that kind of pressure I'm just a 17 year old kid and now i feel as though if i fail it will not only be a very likely end for me but for my family and friends as well. they have put all of their hope in me and I'M severly scared about what that entails the weight of that kind of responsibility is causing me to fall deeper and deeper into my own little world. and i can't help the fact that i'm scared shitless i have just been handed the hopes and dreams of my entire inner circle and if I fail then i will not only have failed myself but everyone i know and i'm not just scared for myself my biggest concern is my nephew and what my failure could and will mean to him. and i dont want to hear any god speals i've heard them before i am a christian what i am looking for is some good old fashioned down to earth advice if your reading this and actually give a shit please help