okay first thing's first, you have to know my background. I was always viewed and labeled as the perfect child. I got good grades, played sports, and am a strong christian. My sister on the other hand slacked off and fought with our mom almost everyday. So as time wore on I got a boyfriend and we were dating about a year and I, stupidly, gave him a bj. and his mother, saw us. Talk about awkward. So they talked to us about how we were whormongers to God and all this stuff but she said i forgive you guys. Then she said, "but your mom has to know". So thinking it best I talked to my mom. I asked her what she did before marriage and she told me had sex then she was like have you done more than you wanted to? letting a sigh of relief go i said that's exactly it! and then i told her my boyfriend and i talked and we decided it wasn't what God would want. So now we put ourselves in good situations, and rely on one another for help. So that conversation was done and over but then, of course, she gets a call from his mom saying everything she saw and how that wasn't right and how she doesn't know if she can trust us and my mom is easily persuaded (good and bad thing) so she quickly held those beliefs as well. so she got all mad at us and we told her we were sorry and that only time would show her that we changed. Oh, almost forgot, His mom and him have fights all the time and she calls him stupid (which he isn't, he takes ap and college courses) and an idiot and good for nothing. So they got in a fight a few days ago, and she told him that he sucked... then she was like oh wait, that's your girlfriend in my kitchen. She tells me that she likes me and all this stuff, but she doesn't show it and she also says how big a christian she is and yet she cannot forgive and forget and talks about others. So basically i'm now no longer the perfect child, which i'm thankful, i'm now the "your sister would never do that" child, which isn't good. I'm not trowing a pity party, i deserve everything she wants to dish out. She told me that i had to take full responsibility for our horses and i said ok she said you have to clean up (which is normal for me, because i clean everyday) and all this stuff so she won't tell my dad then she tells me that she doesn't like that she can't tell him and all this stuff. So i told her i'll tell him in my own time.
is it bad to wish My senior year would come and go so i can go to college? i mean she says she loves me and yet when i do something small like forget to dust the lamp she goes crazy. I just can't wait to leave. and it is sad because i usued to be so close to her. She says she likes my boyfriend then she says i don't care if you even stay together. She tells me I'll never get into college because of my SAT. and yet I take all honors and ap and college courses.. plus i skipped my junior year. And i have a 1080 (which is not great) on my SAT. and now she's saying that i will turn in a resume to this law office because i need a better job. I have no say in my life anymore. I just do what she says and what my dad says and just go to my room and hide at night to do homework. I don't even want to talk to her anymore. She tells me to come talk to her about this stuff and i don't want to because of exactly how she handeled everything. I just don't know what to do.
She even talks bad about his mom saying she is crazy and physco for calling him names like that and crushing his soul, she does the same to me in a different way. and if i told her all this she would just be like well you got yourself into it and it's your consequences. I would love for all of this to just be on me. I would take it from her in a heartbeat. But, sadly i cannot. and i need help. any suggestions? | |
He'll let you know.
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