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everything is wrong

Posted by cman at August 5, 2010
Tags: Attitude  2010 August  Family  Health  Juvenile problems

everything is wrong in my life, first im not the handsomess guy in the world, im 18 going on 19 and im 6 foot 1 and i only way 135 lbs i try gaining weight but i cant. I have a lot of good friends but recently i had back surgery cause i had a curved spine they put 24 screws in my back and 2 metal rods. My neck is still slouched forward so i look almost like a turtle. My teeth are small so i cant even smile cause i feel people are looking at my small teeth. i grind my teeth at night to so i get paranoid in the morning looking at them. I have a friend that is a girl she is very pretty and i have more than friend feelings toward her but i know i have no chance in the world with her cause she likes black guys haha my luck. So now that my surgery is done i thought i would be ok but i was wrong again, mt chest is abnormal, it slopes in on the right side and also i have a bump to the right of my sternum, it hurts sometimes pretty bad. i would tell my parents but they are split up, my mom works hard all day and my dad is dating my moms daughter, which is my half sister. My dad has a phd and he thinks im stupid just because i fucked up in high school and had to go to a continuation school, i did graduate but he still thinks im dumb. Since im recovering from my surgery ive had plenty of time to pick my life apart into whats wrong and whats good. I cant go out cause im still recovering i can barley sit for 30 min and stand for even less than that without hurting. My friends are the only good thing in my life they love me for who i am, but since i cant see them im stuck at home going over and over on how shitty my life is and how some people take what they have for granite, my life has been full of hospital visits, back pain, looking in the mirror and hoping to have just some things go my way, also im not a virgin so that might be a positive, but still the girl i know that i want, doesnt want me so its killing me and just the other day my friend had a party and she went to go hook up with some other guy in the living room an i still awake had my heart crushed.


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