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i dont know why???

Posted by j mac at October 3, 2009
Tags: Loneliness  Money  October 2009  Relationship

Im now a 30 year old guy from glasgow (scotland) and i dont know why what im about to share is happening. In sept 2001 i met my now ex partner who is 4 and a half years my junior through mutual friends, we got on so well that on 20th feb 2002 i proposed and she accepted it was to be a relatively long engagement since everything else was so fast. In aug of the same year we bought a flat together although my partners name was not on the mortgage because her income would not have affected the amount we would be able to borrow, the flat was in her side of the city because i had a car and her work was on that side. I paid for everything except council tax and tv license (which came to around £120/month) everything seemed to be going well for around a year and a date for our wedding was about to be set since she had been asking me to do that but me being cautious i wanted to make sure we had enough money to have our big day without risking losing our home, Which turned out to be the correct decision because one day i went in to my place of work as normal for my boss to take me into the office and hand me a wage arrestment, she hadnt been paying the council tax, to cut a very long story short this happend another 2 times even after her saying it would never happen again each time but the 3rd time i gave her the warning that if it happened again we where finished and asked her to tell me if she knew of anything else money wise that she hadnt told me about, to which she replied no. So not long after that she wanted to have a baby to which i said we couldnt afford because of her fucking the money up, but she came off contraception which i knew about and i didnt want to start using condoms. In truth i also wanted a baby but didnt want to scrimp and scrape money wise but if it happened it was ment to be, which it did. About a month after she was confirmed as being pregnant my wages where once again arrested for the same thing as before, so i told her the only reason i was prepared to give our relationship another chance, even though i told her she was out if it happened again, was because we where going to be a family. Over the coarse of her pregnancy i cant say i was as supportave as i wanted to be because my father was put in prison an i was going to get my mum after work and take her and me to visit my dad every week night since my mum didnt drive, then my mum took unwell and was takin into hospital, so i was working, visiting my dad then visiting my mum every night then when i got home i was shattered but i would still have done whatever she needed me to do for her and she knew that. After our gorgeous daughter was born i was shown no love at all but i still didnt give up or go out and cheat, when we where intimate it felt like it was a chore for her and was just doing it to keep me quiet. Then she cheated on me even after all i had done for her but thats not the worst part, the evidence i found she said it was only cyber to help boost her confidence and said i was being paranoid and that she would never cheat on me because she loved me and appreciated all i had done for her over the years, she SWORE on our daughters life that she hadnt even kissed anyone else!!!!! So lots of ups and downs followed over the next few months because i knew in my heart she had (the evidence was damming really) but on the other hand she swore on her own daughters life that she hadnt and i didnt want to believe she was capable of wishing her own daughter dead just to what i and our friends would think of her. in sept 2008 she left me over a stupid arguement about a car not going through its mot and took our daughter with her still maintaining she hadnt cheated on me but on new years day this year (2009) the friend that was looking after our daughter for her so she could have sex, some of which was on our bed in our home, with this other guy told me that she did. So after i told her that i knew and i was moving on and going to start seeing someone else, up until then i was wanting to give my family a go and still did but i wasnt waiting any longer since it was her that cheated and lied about it to the point that i nearly ended up having a breakdown, she said that she was prepared to give us a go as long as we could start again which i agreed to by saying that i coulf forgive her but i would not forget and that it would take a long time for me to trust her again, which implied to me that she would have to prove herself to me, which she agreed to. So once again things went well before long she told me she loved me and that she was so sorry for what she gad done to me, but the problem was she wasnt showing it, I was still to stick to the times i got my daughter and the maintenance money was still to be paid, she only came out to see me when it suited her even though i was picking her up and dropping her off at her door (nomally once a week) and when she said she was going to come out and see me on another night i was left sitting until late then i'd text her asking what was going on and she would reply that our daughter wasnt down yet (even though she was back staying with her mum, step dad and sister who could have got her down for her)then when she got her down about an hour after my text she would say she was just going to leave it. Meanwhile i am showing lots of commitment by buying a new family car and booking a holiday for just us and decorating the flat and buying a new couch to show her that i wanted what she had taken from me back, my family. But she wouldnt do it and cause apparently i was applying too much pressure for something that she should have been wanting to do to prove she was serious about making her family work, she ended it with me again at the end of Aug this year (2009). So now the person who i was going to start going out with before i got back together with my ex is pregnant to another guy and i'm back to feeling incredibly lonely and confused, i just cant understand why she would come back to put in very little effort and leave again.

Sorry its a long read i know but couldnt cut it any shorter, there is alot more money stuff like loans she got without me knowing and debt that i paid off for her after she had cheated and was lying about it but its long enough as it is! Thanks and any comments will be greatly received.


Votes:


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New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 03,Oct,09 19:57

Dear J Mac,
its really sad wat happened to u, i just want to say tht it's always ben bad idea to get back together with ur ex, its hard to trust them again. if u listen to me dont give her a chance anymore just forget her, and do not try to contact the person whou were going to start going out with before u got back together with ur ex,,,, the only thing u can do now is to take a break from all the relationships, just enjoy being single, go out with ur friends, don think about past or future for sometime, u know post is a history future is a mystery and present is a gift and full of oppurtunities tht we r given to take advantage of not to be misarable and sad ... i hope this wil help u good luck
By anonymous at 04,Oct,09 17:58

I know what ur sayin and its what all my friends (and hers) and family said not to do. But i wanted and still do want my daughter to have what i had and still have, her mum and dad there all the time like a proper family. But i now know that i cant keep a relationship going myself, it takes two to make it work. Thanks for ur comment i really do appreciate it.


By anonymous at 30,Nov,09 10:25

I agree it never works to go back. But its harder to go forward sometimes 'trust me ive been living in the past for 5 yrs now'and i still cant seem to let it go and move on. I guess only time can help us move forward with such things in such a shitty world. Do something for you not for anyone else, we all have to be selfish sometimes and look after no1 because at the end of the day no1 else can look after you but you!


By anonymous at 23,Dec,09 02:26

You should just simply never trust her. She isn't showing a single hint that she is serious about having a family or life with you. She just seems like another irresponsible adult that never grew up and thinks things are going to keep being handed to her. It's time for a reality check. Take your beautiful daughter and leave, be a great father and teach your child to be a trustworthy person.


By Marek at 27,Nov,12 09:12

Mum: The cloud seems to have been gone. Sun is out. Hope NF is the same today.Quite a character, your llitte Elliott! Just like the maman @Rachel: It's sad how much they miss, really!@Insomniac Mum: Hello. I hope your name doesn't give clues on your sleeping pattern??? @Mamma Po: Did it. Starfish, wine, the works. But why had the night to end at 6AM? Yawwwn!@Lorna: I am lucky to have such a content baby she was sitting happily on my lap for 40 mintues while mummy had her feet pedicured. Bliss!@BiB: Single parents all my respect to them! I'd go mad, honestly. I am honestly looking forward to a bit of a background role. Although, it's a tiny bit flattering, too, to be the #1. Even if it's just the booby that makes all the difference @Gigi: Gosh, I am so behind on twitter, I don't know how to find people or what RT is and what the heck is followfriday? Maybe you should give me a crash course Big M and llitte L have been close on vacation, but babies tend to forget very quickly. And in a few days it will be daddy who?' again.


By take a look at it! at 26,Oct,13 02:50

jBp4vO Im obliged for the blog.Really thank you! Really Cool.


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