I read so many stories here of loneliness, joblessness... and I'm on the other side of the fence. Why doesn't it seem better? I think my wife hates me. We don't have sex anymore, if I touch her she walks away, and as a married man, I can 't really look anywhere else. I guess in that way I'm lonely too. I think I might resent her too much too. She won't work, keeps saying she will, but she has been at home for pretty much the last 5 years. Doesn't really make or have friends. I think she's depressed but doesn't want to address it.
I go to work every day for little more than minimum wage to try and support a family of 5. On my paydays, my paycheque is gone from my bank account before I am home from work, and still I'm left wondering what I'm going to eat a day later and have nothing but cans of soup from the food bank to try and give myself energy for a labor intensive job day after day.
I am reliant on my wife to drive me to and from work, as I don't have a drivers license. I can't afford courses or to write the test for that matter. My wife hates the fact that she has to drive me to work every day.
I have 3 children (one of them a step daughter) ages 3, 8 and 15. I am hungry and tired and don't have the energy to spend with them, nor am I a happy person to deal with. I spend my time online trying to find an escape to a better world even if imaginary.... and I know I am going to regret not spending these years with my kids yet I can't seem to stop.... the real world is just too discouraging and fruitless. | |