Hey guys,
I know this is really gonna piss people off coz I have a great life.....but I keep on fucking it up.
I will break it down for you.
My Dad was a good looking strong, charming and quick witted mother fucker but was not good with women (cause for concern?). My Mum is from a broken home and her mum was apparentally sleeping around a bit. She was really pretty but fat. She grew up in a kids home famous for child abuse.
I have an older sister and an older brother, my sister was Daddys girl and my brother was ignored as a person but given a lot of help with money whenever he fucks up. This has led him to make a fuck load of mistakes and not learning from them. My sister got pregnant at 17 was fucked up for about 10 years but now she's fine.
I have always been ignored by my family and everything I have accomplished is 100% my own doing. My dad was an exceptional goalkeeper and I too showed signs of being a potential pro player. One memory that sticks out the most was me and my Dad drove to a football practice, he looked at the keeper and said "you're too small, you won't get picked" and we drove off again. My brother got a lot of support with his football and I was never shown the same treatment. I got to play semi-pro football in Japan through word of mouth but I lacked the drive or ambition to go to training (that's my own fault).
I was also great at songwriting/poetry from an early age but that was only found out by an excellent teacher that I had....she died suddenly one day, and no one else could get me to write like she could.
I am kinda good looking and I had many friends at school but a lot of people were jealous because they saw a talented guy who wasn't aware of how hood he was(easy pickings for the insecure bullys who are not happy with themselves)
I had many girlfriends but lacked any kind of maturity to be any kind of a boyfriend.
My parents split up, I started smoking a lot of weed. I didn't have a job so the guy who gave me weed made me his bitch (nothing sexual but mind games and shit). Me my mum and brother downsized our house and due to my mum being incapable of knowing how to live couldn't pay for where we lived. One day I was at home on my own (my mum was on holiday) a bailliffe came round and starting taking all our possessions.
After this humiliation I decided to get a live in careworker job. I ended up looking after a great guy at a University. After that I was a kids activity instructor after that the guy had looked after got a job at the BBC and he asked me to join him. After a few fun years I met my wife when she was studying at a Uni. It was a long distance relationship and after a while her and her parents invited me to live in their house in a foreign country.
So now I'm living the life of luxury but I'm not grateful for it. I've ruined a second chance at being a pro football player, I've been thinking about cheating on my wife, I've started drinking heavily, I've started smoking a lot of cigarettes, I have basically turned into a massive ungrateful twat and I'm in self destruct mode. The other day I almost punched some 60 year old guy on a train coz he was in my way. My life is spiralling out of control and I don't seem to be able to fix it. | |
New Comment