I'm not trying to sound sorry for myself, just trying to vent. They say venting is good, so here I go. I use to have a great life. No fighting, no worries, everything was amazing. That is, until my father died. He had head & neck cancer that spread to his lungs. He basically drowned from all the fluid that built up in his lung. I was devastated. His death was tragic and unexpected. He was my best friend and he just left. Left my mom to raise 6 children by herself with money problems. Left me. My mom and I don't have a good relationship either. We are constantly fighting to the point where she beats me sometimes. I never called the police because I don't want her to leave. I honestly think she lost her love for me. She tells me she hates me and wishes I just leave and that I'm her worst child she has. It feels really bad. Sometimes I think if I just died then maybe she realized how much she missed me and love me again.. I keep on thinking suicidal thoughts. I just want to feel loved again like my daddy loved me. I miss him SO much and pray every night things will change. You may not think my story is very bad compared to other stories, but I don't want a comparison cause that's someone elses life. I just feel so depressed and I don't know what to do. | |
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