Chronic Sickness and Failures, I need to go. | Posted by anonymous at June 9, 2012 | Tags: Health 2012 June |
I have never had the chance to be a child. All my life I had to be the adult and take care of everyone else. My mother cheated on my dad right before my eyes. I am pretty sure my little sister who I adore is the man's she slept out on with. Our lives are just lies. My sisters and I probably do not have the same father, but who will ever know. I have always been depressed, but I found a way to make it through it all.
Now that I am older, I am faced with greater struggles. This year I got really sick. For the last nine months I have been bleeding internally. The doctors do not know why this is happening to me. I bleed from everywhere and it is just so so so much. I am very sick and I do not see hope in getting better. I almost died this year and I am a little upset that I have not yet. I have been making mistakes. I accidently sent hate mail to a teacher. It was pretty intimate. It was a total accident and now I feel as if he could ruin my life in a matter of seconds. My life just sucks now and I feel there is no escaping it before high school is over.
People adore me, but I cannot understand why. Why do they like me? Why can't they let me go? I just want to exit this world. I am not meant to be a part of it. My whole life would be considered a success by a stranger looking in, but really I am a mess. I need help. My definition of failure is skewed and success seems impossible when really I do very well.
This is just a little bit about my life. How can I move on with the sickness and the letter out there to be exposed? I think I need to die. Maybe I will just bleed out. | |
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