LIFE SUCKS

i just sit and watch myself spoil

decay. happens to living too. fucked my life up and now watching my self getting fucked up. i beleive i have done so few things wrong in my life but everything is goig wrong with me. everyday there's a surprising disaster for me. i've complained about them so much that i don't want to repeat writing them here.
when i look back i find everyone aruond me guilty but myself. born as a masochist foot fetish masturbating from as far as i remember to now (21). opportunities are flooding me but i just stand and watch them go away because i'm ifraid to make a single dicision and extremely afraid of others. it's four years i'm doing nothing everyday. i just go to college and come back home. no activity, no friends. don't study at all. failed two semesters with terrible grades. in off days i get up late and just walk all around the home or just sit by the computer and read stupid things, none of wich i remember next day. my memory has got so bad i can't remember a single name. i'm decaying. i'm dying in fornt of me.