So many of these stories are written by people whose lives suck, but they are usually younger and still have time to turn things around - which I don't I don't think.
I'm 53, no SO, no children, no job, no career. I have several psych diagnoses and the depression I deal with overwhelms me (I guess I'm bipolar 1 depressive). I have been stalked for months now and was forced out of my nice home due to the stalkers being new next door neighbors, and in a panic I bought a mobile home in a park. The realtor lied to me about the average age here (which is 70) and about activities which don't take place. My friends (the few I had or more like two and one was constantly putting me down) just deserted me due to the stalking. They didn't believe me and my one "friend" of 37 years sided with the stalker, even though he tried to kill my dogs four times. Well, he or they have followed me here now.
My mother is over 90 and fell so I have to go out of state to take care of her so I worry about the stalking (as they vandalized my last house when it was vacant) and what they might do to this place. My dog has Valley Fever and is moving in the wrong direction. The stress from the trip could make it even worse, yet I feel I have no choice but to drive there (oh, and I have a driving phobia so swell).
I was involved with a lying, cheating, deceptive narcissist on and off for six years who just accused me of being delusional about the stalking and wrote me off. He was abusive to me and discovering who he was just shattered me. The ONLY support I have is my therapist and I have to pay her just to talk to someone. I call a version of a crisis line when things get bad as there is no one else. I'm estranged for the most part from my family of origin and honestly think the ONLY two people who would care if I killed myself would be my mother and therapist. Well, my mother might not have long and my therapist told me yesterday the only thing I have to be optimistic about is my decorating skill (in other words, she likes the way I've decorated my trailer park home).
Oh, and I was ruined in 2002 by another sociopath and have never recovered from that. My resume sucks. I'm on disability due to my many mental health issues and I just see no hope for the future. My former friends have betrayed me and stolen from me. I trust no one at this point and do not believe in a personal God. Well, I think time is running out for me and I just may end up a suicide. That's about it. | |
Move your mom in with you- that way you can take care of her and not have to worry about driving? You could probably set up your trailer so that it works- it is one level, so no stairs! Once you have your mom with you- you won't be lonely anymore! Stay away from people. They will just disappoint you. Get a pet instead. Most of all- consider yourself lucky... You have a roof over your head and you have your very own "space". Don't get involved with men (I'm assuming you're a woman?)and cherish being by yourself. You have nobody to answer to, nobody to beat you, abuse you, and you can be your own best friend- you're better off being alone, trust me...
Keep busy, take up hobbies- there must be something you're interested in???
Most of all- stay away from dudes that want something from you-
Give me the "stalker's" names, addresses, telephone numbers, and social security numbers, and I will personally inflict misery upon their souls...
Cursed
Don't worry, there is a painless suicide method, despite what the anti-suicide left wing faggots say. A heroin/morphine overdose, you will die a painless euphoric death in heaven-like bliss, as the heroin causes your respitory system to stop and your miserable life slowly whisks away, into everlasting oblivion.
Just do it, these guys are just trying to make you feel better, but the reality is it won't get better. No man wants to be with an ugly depressed 53 year old, and by now menopause has probably struck its rath upon you, so no more kids to love and nurture like normal women do. The only two things in a womens life that are important : Pleasing a man, and raising children , you cannot do. Kill yourself you stupid slut, just do it.
I'm not convinced that heroin overdose is a good way to go: For starters you have to have the balls to inject it. But also you can only get hold of it if you are willing to deal with people and have the right connections. This is VERY difficult for a social recluse who doesn't really know how to deal with people. Even then you might get some nasty impurities and just end up with brain damage I guess? You could extract your own from californian poppies; apparently it's two chemical steps from opium (poppy seed head sap) to morphine. I guess morphine would do it? I've heard you can feel sick from heroin and morphine etc so I don't know what kind of end it would be... Perhaps it might just be uncomfortable? I personally don't think it's the best method for 'cowards'.
I think for 'cowards' one of the most sure ways to go would be to have someone else shoot them in the head. Obviously this involves contact with other humans but that could be kept to a minimum by arranging it over the internet. Finding someone else who is willing is difficult. Most people on the internet who say they'd do it also say they can't be arsed because it's not worth it for them which is fair enough I guess.
At the moment I believe asploding yourself is the way forwards. It's instant, probably painless and doesn't involve meeting people. You could even hook up a cheap mobile phone to the detonator and have someone on the internet 'pull the trigger' by sending you a text. The anarchist cookbook claims to provide information about making explosives and is free to download. You might have to look elsewhere when trying to make a blasting cap and remote detonator. Youtube probably has tutorials on these bits
I am just sharing my thoughts on the easiest method of suicide for 'cowards', like myself I might add, if that makes it any better? I'm a coward, I wouldn't be able to inject heroin to kill myself. I could however put myself at the mercy of someone with a gun or blow myself up...
Sounds like you're trying to pick bones with the wrong guy. I don't believe everybody who kills themself is a coward at all!
I don't think the OP is necessarily a coward but I felt like my suggestions and opinions would help people who struggle to build up the courage to overdose or slit their wrists etc. It might seem a bad thing to say but some lives aren't worth living... I know because my life is one of them
I'm sure your life is not as bad as you think. Re-evaluate and get your head on track. Take control.
That's just the truth and people like you aren't willing to deal with that. You're not capable of realizing that you can't change people. You get stuck in relationships where it feels like you're throwing love into a blackhole. This isn't a criticism, it's just the truth. It's unfortunate that people like me exist but I am doing something about it s. Unlike you who would rather flog a dead horse with your words urging it to 'take control!'. I am dead. I decided I didn't want to live when I was a child. Nothing has changed and nothing will change. Effectively I am just an insignificant demon to you and that blackhole you were throwing love at or will do in the future; he (or she) is Satan to you.
It's been scientifically proven that narcissists only 'live' in certain areas of the brain. They are restricted from the other parts of the brain because they've never learnt to use them... Only brain surgery can cure what I have in my opinion. Brain surgery or suicide. Brain surgery isn't going to happen any time soon so I have to work towards suicide. I apologise for my existence as sincerely as I can. I hope you didn't read all that but if you did, you are one dedicated human being. Now let me suicide in peace?
beleive me u will have many many age fellow friends there who has the same story of life , you will enjoy being there and sharing ur feelings and life with the same abandoned people like you .. so just go to an old house , they take care of them there is food there is a routine there are people to talk with ..
suicide is the worst thing u do , marriage money friends family nothing important , all what is important is that u are living breathing , enjoying the weather ,walking , and dont care the fuck what others think about u , just smile and say , im ok , and go to an old house for god sake there are people like u there
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
What you Should do is to Get Pention or Shift to an Old House , means where they keep Abandoned Old people ,
beleive me u will have many many age fellow friends there who has the same story of life , you will enjoy being there and sharing ur feelings and life with the same abandoned people like you .. so just go to an old house , they take care of them there is food there is a routine there are people to talk with ..
suicide is the worst thing u do , marriage money friends family nothing important , all what is important is that u are living breathing , enjoying the weather ,walking , and dont care the fuck what others think about u , just smile and say , im ok , and go to an old house for god sake there are people like u there. If you dont know any then ask Shopkeepers , ask people about any old house where u can go and start a new life with ur age fellows .. move ur city if u dotn find one in ur own city
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@
@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you need AGE FELLOWS to Interact with , You are ALONE
You need Age fellow FRIENDS , and you need someone who can give you FOOD on time ..
Its better to have strength and Proudly search an old house and Shift there instead of Getting inside a grave or Crying to death
even ur mom will have friends in the old house then .
food , friends , a place to live , people to talk with , thats enough ,
and if they say you are not Old enough then YOU CAN BEG THEM YOURSELF to KEEP UR MOM and to LET YOU WORK THERE AS A COOK ,OR AS A CLEANER , OR AS SUMOEN TO TAKE CARE OF THE OLD PEOPLE ..
there are people like u and ur mom over there who are living together , helping eachother at hard times of their life .. so you have to go there in those lonely peoples lives and u all shud be friends with eachother ok .
New Comment