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4 stages of hell

Posted by anonymous at May 28, 2012
Tags:  2012 May

Hi folks,

I'm kind of exploding. I was heavily depressive for several years but kept fighting hard to turn my life into something good again. I was in psycho-therapy for 6 years until now finally I faced my trauma.
My childhood consisted of an incredible amount of aggression and pure hatred. The danger of being slayed by my older brother was real and a constant experience. I was so fearful that I've developed several psychosis relating to monsters that made me unable to move so that I pissed into my bed. Or later in life when I had my girlfriend in the arm I suddenly had a shock that she is a vampire. I was sure to die of cancer for about 6 years. Other things.
All this my head blocked so hard - I even blocked out the existence of fear. I realized all this in the years of psychotherapy but my mind still blocked it on the emotional basis. These weeks it becomes truth in my heart. I've experiencing a set of flashbacks that I have to fight to pull me back into reality. A coat of pure horror covers me when I don't actively occupy my brain with some complex task. I've decided to postpone the decision about suicide until the peak of shit times is over.
Wish me luck, I need it.

Ah ye, the 4 stages: childhood, psychosis throughout my life, depression, confrontation.


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