Since as early as I can remember I had been picked on daily through my school life. It started when a couple kids decided to throw sand in my face in pre-school. Yes I can remember that far back. From there it was a daily routine right through primary school and secondary school of physical and mental torture. Had even been hospitalised several times because of it.
Finishing school with a score so low I was unable to enter any classes at university I wanted, I went out looking for a job. I had got a few very ordinary low paying jobs but it was a start. Moved into different cities to find better work however I was too unqualified to get anything good.
Fast forward to today. I am 32 years old, live with my parents. Don't earn enough to live by myself. Had 3 distant relationships with girls that only lasted a couple months. Had sex only once with a prositute. Watching all my friends around me grow up, buy houses, have families and move on with their lives. Im stuck going no where. I have been looking but women these days want someone successful. For more than 10 years I have wanted someone to hold me and love me but to me now, it is all a fantasy. I have even tried dating sites. Sent out 100's of contacts to women and have got ZERO replies. Not even just to be friends.
Shit job.
No qualifications.
Depression, anxiety, stress through the roof on a daily basis.
Even my psycologist said my life was setup for failure.
Can't afford to live by myself.
No girl friend.
Feel like I am a waste of space.
What is the point.
Next time my parents go away for the weekend. I plan on going to the beach, try and swim out as far as I can until I am exhausted and drown. Should be easy considering I am also not a very good swimmer. | |
Hope this help. Life does suck. If all fails, pull the trigger. There is nothing wrong with suicide. I doing it when my parents die.
You know, I have had to live with my folks on a number of occasions! In the past- everytime I got dumped by my long term boyfriend- guess what, yup, I ran back to my parents. Finally, I got on my own two feet, quit living with boyfriends, and found autonomy. Trust me- if I can do it, so can you! Living with your parents probably sucks, but it's better than living in the street. Appreciate the fact that you have a place to go when you're down and out- because many, don't! Anyway, I can understand your frustration, but you gotta pull through- Especially if you want to start a relationship with someone! People don't enjoy being around needy and depressed romantic interests. You've got to get out of your slump, before you can find love. Otherwise you'll just end up scaring away the potential love interest- trust me, been there, done that! As far as your job is concerned, please don't get too down. Almost everyone these days is suffering from this shitty worldwide economy! You are not the only one working at a low paying, crappy, job! Join the fucking club! I hate my job. Complain about it to anyone who will listen- but realistically, what else is out there? NOTTA! So, trust me, keep your shitty job, until you can find a better one!
I know you'll probably read this and go- whatever. But I don't offer advice unless I truly know what it's like- and just about all the points you laid out- well, I have either been there- or am living there-
So, find solace in the fact that others are suffering just like you- You are not alone!
Good luck- keep forging ahead, it's life-
Cursed
make friends. True friends don't care how you look or how successful you are in life. You will a happier person.
easy to say .
I have a phd. a 31 year marriage.
children who are doctors and teachers.
yet I understand your despair as I live it every day.
no one said life was easy.
you feel you have nothing and life is meaninglessness.
I appear to have every thing yet life makes no sense for me....yet
life is a struggle but you have to go on and live it there are no shortcuts.
my suggestion try every thing till you find meaning. it may be religeon , adventure, business or anything. I think it has something to do with caring for others more than yourself.
even after your parents.
mine died when I was 18 and I came from a home where my shoes were second hand.
all I can I offer is...... live your life, find meaning in helping others, organisations like churches can help , i have tried but it doesn't work for me I keep searching
but you like me can never give up.
I am sure it will make sense in the end but we have to see it through.
sorry if it sounded condescending but even people who appear to have it all can be lost but we have to continue searching for meaning.
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