I'm a seventeen girl living in hell. It all started after I was sexually assulted by my guy "best friend" last year on April 1st. My aspects on guys changed. I known him for years and trusted him. The only peron who stpped me from killing myself a year before that because I was so sick of life. I would constantly get picked on in school and get called "spook" which meant ugly and a dicksucking hoe. None of this was true. I messed with nobody in my school because I knew if i did, it would be everywhere. Boys would come my way with the sweet talk to try and get in my panties but i wasnt stupid. when thy didnt get what they want, they would make up false rumors about me. The rumors got so bad that it got to my parents, which made them question was i sexually active. I wasn't. I was still a virgin. I wanted to kill myself because i saw no reason for me to live if i did was get critized, and bullied. Girls would threaten to beat me up through faebook, and in person. I did nothing to anybody. I never got why the school hated me so much. I felt alone. After i was sexually assulted, i lost my mind. i had no one. my guy best friend bragged about how he hit that, which techinally he didnt because it was sodmny... he would tell me how much he hated me and how i had no reason to live. i was believing these words because i had noone. I started to give myself up to the world, including two other boys, which one have me an STD, Chylmia a month ago. I got treated for it but he didnt. he still running out having unprotected sex. I was hurt in a way and felt used, even though i was. Recently, i had been talking to a nice guy who is extremely attractive, 19, in the navy, nice car, and got money. It wasnt eally in my aspects to go after a guy like this but he was just so cute. i had known him for a year he was in bootcamp. he promised he'd be there for me when he get back. for once, i felt happy. i felt brand new. when he came back we end up having sex. afterwords, i felt myself falling hea over heels for this guy.Us being together would be all would think about. My feelings were shot down when i would constantly see other gurls talk to him on his facebook. I would get so upset. Recently, I discovered something scary about myself. I had got a UTI Urinary Bladder Infection followed by a disease. I believe it is herpes....My world fell apart. I got so depressed i didnt eat, which caused me to blackout in the middle of the store infrnt of everyone. i was immmediately rushed to the hospital for care. I had syncose aka "fainting spells". I was homesick for days, missing school was bad. I was in too much pain to even walk and i still am..I was sooo scared to address this issue to te boy but i know i had to for us. I told him that it was a chance he couldve gave me something and he totally denied it. Now he is going to take me up to the doctor monday morning because he is scared as much as i am even though he isnt suffering with the pain i'm in. Painful blisters,bad smel that will not go away, Crying when i have to pee beause it BURNS SO BAD, painful stomach aches, bad itching. He was only the 2nd boy i messed with. Why me? Im always the one on the end of the stick just by One choice that i decided to make. I feel as if i want to end my life now. Im sick of seeing happiness in my face when no one around me knows the pain that rush between my legs when I walk, or the cuts on my wrists, or see the dried up tears on my face. No one knows what i go through No one gives a shit about me and it hurts to know it but i know i'm in it on my own with a broken heart. | |
I am so sorry but getting an STD is not the end of the world. Ok, so from reading your post, the bad news is yes, I think that you are describing the symptoms of herpes. It's ok. You are not going to die. There is no cure for herpes, but it can be controlled. I have herpes. Got it from someone- orally, and then like a numb fuck, infect myself down below. I won't go into details as to how... In anycase, it is devastating emotionally, and sweetie, I can relate. However, there is anti-viral medication that you can take that will curb the symptoms. The painful blisters are a bitch- try not to screw with them. They will burst and oozzz, but eventually they dry up and go away. The itching is the worst for me. Christ, I feel like my ass is on fire when I have a break out. But listen, crying about it now, won't get you anywhere. Go to the doc. They will put you on some medication. Get some ointment too for the itching. And make sure the current boy gets blood tested- a blood test is the only sure fire way of knowing that you have an STD. From here on out you are going to have to be careful with your sexual encounters. Make sure you use protection during intercourse with new partners or you may infect them. DO NOT have sex during a flare up. You probably wouldn't want to anyway. The UTI is something that can be fixed with medication too- an antibiotic. Allow yourself plenty of sleep. The more you stress, your body senses it and makes the herpes worse. Stay away from coffee, alcohol, and cigs. They only make the outbreaks worse.
Hopefully this helps? It sucks, I know, but you just have to deal with it and move forward. Someday, maybe they'll come up with a cure. Most people don't even know they have herpes- and MOST PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. It's embarrassing and you're immediately "black listed" like the plague. You have a friend honey- if you need anymore info, just ask.
Cursed
You ROCK! Not only you are brave enough to talk about herpes in the first person, you are also kind enough to give her wise advice. The world would be a much better place if we had more people like you around.
@poster,
You are only 17 and have your life ahead of you. Do not let bad things from your past haunt you and define who you become. Treat the medical problems, then raise your head up high, and be happy. All the luck.
and thank you, i will try not to let it interfere with my dreams
-Eat plenty of foods high in anti-oxidants such as blueberries, grapes and cranberries.
-Drink at least 2 litres of filtered water daily to encourage frequent urination and flushing of the urinary tract
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-Avoid foods which can aggravate urinary tract infections such as alcohol, coffee, soft drinks, citrus foods, tomatoes, vinegar, yeasts, sugar and artificial sweeteners.
-Relief from the pain and burning sensation for females can be found by wearing a sanitary pad which has sugar free yoghurt applied to it.
Hope that helps? And one more thing, try focusing on YOURSELF more. You do what you love, and fuck the rest. I give a shit. If it means anything at all. Good luck. :)
I have no talents and my grades are falling as well as my relationships with everyone.
My mom gets more bitchy as time goes on and she expects me to be able to complete 2 months worth of school work to fix my bad grades from the last quarter, in one day. On top of that I'm somehow supposed to get my driving permit and do community service so I can graduate.
Jesus loves you
My name is Aly and I would like to know if you would have any interest to have your website here at lifesucksbigtime.com promoted as a resource on our blog alychidesigns.com ?
We are in the midst of updating our broken link resources to include current and up to date resources for our readers. Our resource links are manually approved allowing us to mark a link as a do-follow link as well
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If you may be interested please in being included as a resource on our blog, please let me know.
Thanks,
Aly
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