In my childhood days I used to think friends & family s everything..After I grew up and started my own personal choices and choose my own love everyone left me ..they mocked me(nope i am not a queer or a gay,it's something else lil bit lesser hell than those two) gossiped abt me,made my parents life a living hell and everything..so my parents hate me as well and they keep telling me that I will be pretty messed up someday.. Now more than to support myself and the one I chose I feel I need to be rich to show them I am happier than them.
Money is everything in this world it's the only measurement of happiness in this society..how much ever I try to prove that I am happy with this man no one seems to notice beyond this.I am in need of lotto win :(
I am earning good but it's not enough for me,I would like to go to my hometown buy a big house infront of my relatives and show them I am bigger than them.. I am desperate to own a business except my husband isn't earning and I am the only bread winner of the family so can't make a huge investment right now..he is an aspiring (atleast I think so) pool player and want to become a pro, I wan to support him so my dreams are vanishing..no matter how much I try to act rich I am the same old,normal,middle class woman and marrying him has proven nothing to anyone. I am happy with him,our life is cool if I don't have to prove anything to anyone..I don't like to have children but again if I don't have a kid everyone thinks I am a loser and sad ,I can't keep telling them "no it's my choice and happy" no one ever believes when life isn't normal looking as they think it to be
Who says money can't bring happiness? May be a jealous loser like me.. Boring hell.. I wan to have kids,money and all just for the sake of being superior amidst my relatives and family..how am I gonna do that? To make it worse my relatives and family thinks I am still single,they don't know I am married..and if I say that there is going to be more pressure on my parents.. If I become soooo rich no one can ever question me and i can buy their gossips with money and success.. How am I going to do that? The more I try to not compare my blessings with others who are very much blessed the more I do that
May be these things don't look so bad to you..but for me I feel bad and worthless.. I know I am overreacting but I don't know how to stop myself..I want to reveal that I am married and just run away to an island with my husband,hunt and eat like stone age men and live like one just out of this lunatic civilization.
LIFE IS A BORING HELL..NOTHING S EASY AND YET NOT ALL ARE EQUIPPED WITH THE STAMINA TO FIGHT. | |
Reading ur reply coleen showed how much you think my problem is simpler may be because I am seeing things so differently I feel it much bigger than it actually is.
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