I'm no saint, but I'm also no heartless asshole. I do my best to do the right thing no matter what. What the hell is karma? Who the hell is God??? I keep trying. For what? To keep having everyone put their foot on my neck? Stab me in the back at the best moment they get? Get fucking shitted on everyday? I do my best to take steps forward and avoid all the bs and let it all roll off of my back. But there is only so much I can take. And I'm starting to reach that point. I used to be a nice guy. Lend a helping hand to whoever whenever for whatever. Give people advice. Encourage people to do better or keep them from making bad decisions. Never take an open opportunity to get over on anyone. Now? I've become so damn cynical. I hate almost everyone and everything and the think the worst of people and their intentions. I don't give a fuck about anyone anymore. I have daydreams of hurting those who hurt me everyday. Getting even and making them feel just as bad as I do. I no longer care about people's problems. Could give a shit if they are doing okay. Or even breathing for that matter. I believed in God, and now I question harshly his intentions with me. Does he even care?? Or am I just some dumb fuck pawn he throws around for his amusement? Is it that? Or something else. I'd give anything to not feel this way. But there is nothing and no one who is remotely trustworthy enough for me to believe them that things are going to be okay and that there is such thing as trustworthy people. Fuck them ALL!! I hope this world fucking burns slowly. I'll be the guy pouring gasoline everywhere with a pocket full of fucking matches spreading more flames... Motherfucking hate it here. I'm so close to ending this bullshit life myself. Tired of God stringing me along... | |
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i couldnt agree with you more,
its sort of like its got to the point where
you and me, and a small other percentage of
this shitty worlds population (which is too much to begin with) can see through this fucking facade the other people call life nowadays. Such a fucking rat race, and for what?
Id love to see the look on these peoples faces if the world went to shit. I mean for so many of these assholes to get knocked off their high horse. People like us have nothing to lose, nothing will have changed. If the apocalypse happened tomorrow,these peoples whole little insular worlds will have crumbled, not to mention the bigger thing. People like us, we never had anything to begin with, so what do we have to lose?
And also know that you don't always have to be helping everyone. I repeat, you don't always have to be helping everyone. It's not your job to take care of everyone you meet. Some folks don't know how to recognize kindness and see your helping as a way to take advantage of you. I had a co-worker who would always try to trade duties with me and give me the hard ones while he would keep the easy ones. I though I was helping out because he would make phony excuses like "I have a cold, etc..", but I caught on. Be selective with whom you help.
You sound like a good guy. Stay strong. Good luck to you.
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