I'll try to keep this brief but meaningful. I am in love with a man who I think is amazing. Yes, he's flawed and scared, has trust and abandonment issues. But he's also smart and generous, incredibly sweet and caring about others, including me. Does he love me back? As much as he's able (given his past family/relationship traumas).
We've been "together"/exclusive for over 2 years - all long distance. We haven't been able to see each other in almost 10 months because of work/money but we talk almost everyday. I can go for days without anyone speaking to me or asking after me or returning my calls, except for him. My "friends" and family? I hardly ever hear from them. Maybe an occasional text message, but that's because I reached out to them first. When they do talk to/text me, all they tell me is to leave him, find someone better (which, for them I think just means local).
And now I've messed up. Because of my fears of rejection and my sadness, I've done something stupid and pushed him away. I didn't cheat or anything like that. I just got really needy and clingy, and I think I was suffocating him. I'm giving him space because last night that's what he asked. I haven't called or texted or emailed. But now I really am alone. No one takes my calls. I have no one talk to about the pain and sadness I feel. I just don't know what to do. | |
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