i haven't told anyone about this but i'm 28 and i've been married to the same woman for 4 years, she is a great person so what is the problem?
she just isn't good at sex. i can go for a long time, i am well endowed, i am strong with a nice body because i go to the gym 4 times a week. I feel that i am doing my part but having sex with her is like the equivalent of poking a fish with a stick
its just like boring and (trying not to be too graphic) sometimes i just look at her and she disgusts me.. i am good at my husband job.. she however is a muffin top and saddle-bags having, limp wristed bore
sometimes i begin having sex with her and instantly just want to retract my penis, but i do my duty as a responsible husband should
i never have felt satisfied in the bedroom except for the first two weeks, then after that it got boring so i started to work out a lot hoping somehow it would help, thinking maybe it was me.. well here i am 4 yrs later and its HER.. she just doesn't know how to make me feel like a man in the bedroom
trapped | |
I would go to a marriage counselor. Having an outside opinion, a professional opinion, will allow you to converse about your problems without either of you getting upset. You married this woman, so you must love her? Weight is tough. I'm sure she probably doesn't feel good about herself, and when you don't feel good about your body, you just don't feel attractive or sexual. Increasing her self-esteem might encourage her to lose the weight and re-charge her sexual libido? Get her flowers, take her out to dinner, make her feel like she did when you first met. In four years, one can fall out of love. But just remember- the grass is not always greener on the other side. Take it from me, it's hard to find the love of your life. The older you get, the more set in your ways that you become!
Good luck-
Cursed
Were you ever in love with her to start with? Because, really, the sex got boring after two weeks?! Maybe she is not very sexual, or maybe she is and she is just feeling self-conscious about the weight? Or maybe, just maybe, you should try to please her more, instead of being "disgusted"? You know, being able to "go for a long time" does not necessarily mean you are doing "your part" that well.
In case you do remotely love her and want to try to solve the problem, here is the plan: avoid the disgust part, keep your well-endowed penis unretracted, and make her feel good about herself. In case you decide that the entrapment is just to hard to handle, just be honest with her. I don't think you are doing her a big favor for keeping the marriage and then feeling so bored and repulsed.
Also ask -- what's my part in this?
I hear a lot of "It's her, not me" and it's never like that, man, and you know it. Blaming her 100% will ignite resentments (it already has).
If you keep telling yourself its all her, then resentments will explode. Take responsibility for your part.
I can relate to the latter.
my wife is physically still attractive. But she long lost interest in bed. I know she does not have another man. But the financial pressure we face day to day has taken a toll on her.
if you still love her. Talk to her openly and seek help. If you don't love her just quit
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